A Testament to God's Grace
Greg and Lynn’s Restoration Story
Without God’s unfailing Grace and mercy, there wouldn’t be an “Us.” Without Lynn’s unfathomable grace to me and obedience to her Heavenly Father, there wouldn’t be an “Us.” Our story is a testimony to the work of God Almighty in the lives of two of His Beloved children—one a lifelong sex addict and one His loving daughter.
▶ Our marriage, renewed.
“... He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives and the opening of the prison, and of the eyes, to those who are bound, ...”
Isaiah 61:1
August 28, 2015
The Day I Was Discovered
Satan fought to destroy our marriage, but God had other plans.
On August 28, 2015, the husband of the woman with whom I was currently committing adultery met Lynn in our driveway and presented her with copies of texts and emails proving that what he was telling her was true.
The very thought was devastating and overwhelming for her, but like an iceberg, she was seeing only the smallest, visible part of my addiction to pornography, adult chat rooms, dating sites, Craig’s List, and adulteries.
Adulteries. Plural. Numerous.
I had been medicating my traumas, hurts, and fears since I was eight years old—a lifetime of addiction and perversion. I wish I could say I had the courage to confess and confess my sexual addiction, but the truth wasn’t in me. It required a crisis to set me on the path of reality and redemption.
“I do not have words deep enough or potent enough to express the depth of pain, anguish, and betrayal that rolled over Lynn that night.”
Grace in Crisis
Grace Upon Grace
Even in devastation, Christ’s character shone through Lynn.
When I look back at those first days and weeks, I see only grace in her demeanor. Oh, she was angry, heartbroken, and crushed at my betrayal. Our discussions were intense but she was never out of control.
She never screamed at me, threw anything, or struck out at me. She never lost her Godly grace. She pulled no punches and spoke the whole truth. She didn’t sugar-coat anything and said exactly what was on her heart.
But she was always gracious. Her response became a significant lesson for me of God’s beautiful grace. We didn’t know what we were doing or where to turn or what to do next. But God did.
“In the course of a three-page, handwritten letter, she told me four times that she hated me. Yes. HATE. But even in that pain, God was working.”
This letter broke my heart and helped bring me to the “broken and contrite heart” that God could work with.
October 2015 – October 2016
The Pure Desire Journey
God provided the path through His servants and their ministry.
After I confessed to our children, one of our daughters-in-law sent me a book recommended by one of her friends. It was called “Pure Desire.” I immediately poured through it as I was looking for any way to get my life out of the pit I’d lived in for so long.
The book gave me hope—not for salvaging our marriage as I knew that was gone—but the hope of a real Father to heal the Father-hole in my heart.
During Lynn’s weekend away in October 2015, she looked up every Bible verse having to do with divorce and asked God to guide her in her decisions. Then, she read “Pure Desire.” For the first time since I was “found out,” she saw a glimmer of hope for us.
January 2016
Began Pure Desire groups — Seven Pillars of Freedom and Betrayal and Beyond
Every Tuesday
We “debriefed” about my workbook after my group
Every Thursday
We debriefed about her workbook after her group
All Year Long
Agonizing, intense personal evaluation and growth for us both
October 2016
God Is Restoring Our Marriage
We buried the old marriage and chose to build something new.
In October of 2016, we finished our groups and it was time to decide what we were going to do. We went for a drive in the country and ended up at a tiny restaurant in the middle of nowhere.
We talked about our future. We still had (have) a lot of work to do. Was I willing to do it? Could I remain pure and live a life of sexual integrity? Did we want to stay together and fight for the marriage I tried so hard to destroy?
We said “no” to rebuilding our marriage. We buried it that day. I had maimed the old marriage beyond saving. We chose that day not to rebuild a marriage built on lies, but rather to create a new marriage built on the foundation God intended.
Our Declaration
We chose that day to fight for us. We live our life together with vulnerability, transparency, and honesty (V-T-H, as I call it).
That is also the day Lynn extended forgiveness to me for all I’d done.
God’s Faithfulness
Today, God is Good
From restoration to ministry — serving others on their journey to freedom.
Today, God is working daily in our lives and marriage. Since the day I was found out I have not suffered a single relapse. We consider that a miracle of God. We are still married and happier than we’ve ever been. Lynn is truly my best friend.
God gave Lynn her dream job so we moved to the Oregon Coast. She comes home almost every day and reports that her day was, “perfect,” in spite of the occasional sideways rain.
God used COVID to remove all the barriers between me and doing what He sent us to the coast to do. I am now a Certified Professional Mentor and I work with men struggling with habitual sexual sin and sexual addiction.
Our Mission Today
I have been set free from my addiction. Now I strive to help other men find that freedom.
God is good. Oh, He is so good.