Welcome to my Blog. It’s my Birthday. This was not going to be my first blog posting but it seems to be a perfect God-thing, so here it is. Blog #1 on my Birthday.
In the Spring of 2017, Lynn and I made a commitment, a “deal” if you will, with God. This was not the kind of deal I’d been making with Him through 50 years of addiction. This was an agreement based on Relationship. We told Him we trust His care and love for us and would express that trust by walking through any door that He chose to open for us. At the time, things weren’t going so well for either of us career-wise so we were focused on doors that He would open on that front. We would be bold and walk paths that might be new for us or out of our comfort zone because He was (and is) in charge. Apparently His understanding of the agreement was larger and more expansive than our myopic view. Isn’t that just His way? It isn’t just good, or even great … it’s ALWAYS the Best, whether we see it or not. So the bargain was struck.
Three weeks ago Lynn and I started facilitating our first Groups – Betrayal & Beyond and 7 Pillars of Freedom. Doors we didn’t expect to be opened. Last night, as I was completing my weekly Commitment to Change document I realized that I was being pursued by an old habit: perfectionism. Unchecked it has the ability to side-track me from completing things I’m responsible for and keeping promises I’ve made.
Which brings me to why this is Blog #1 and not #6 or #7 or whatever. I started working on this blog website almost two months ago. It should have been published prior to the start of my Group. But it wasn’t perfect. The order of blog posts wasn’t right. I couldn’t settle on what pictures I wanted to use. The words in my blogs weren’t “just right.” And I just kept tweaking and dinking with it until last night. And the 2×4 hit me right between the eyes. I’m being disobedient to my Father. I believe He asked me to do this website. I said, “OK. I’ve never created a website. I’ve never written blogs. But OK. I’ll do it.” It’s been ready – good enough – for weeks and I’ve been letting my ego, my perfectionism prevent me doing what I promised I would do: walk through the door, do what I was asked to do and let God be responsible for the result.
So it’s my Birthday and today I am doing a number of things I’ve never done before. I’m turning 60. That’s new. Lynn and I started yoga this morning at her doctor’s order. That’s most definitely new. And I’m publishing my website in its current state in obedience to the Will of my Father. He asked me to create and write. He did not make me responsible for its success or its failure; only that I keep our agreement in Relationship.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. And thank you my Father, that your Grace and Mercy found me and returned me to the path You intended – Freedom. For we were Created To Be Free. He Promised.