This morning, the morning show on the local radio station decided to have listeners – those brave enough – call in and share their “rock bottom” story and the resulting work that God has done in their lives. It struck me how insightful that was when so often morning shows on the radio are mostly fluff (my opinion). The show host shared his rock bottom experience and how God took that moment and worked in it to put him where he is currently, doing what he enjoys and, because it’s a Christian radio station, making an impact in his world for God.
I sat for a few minutes at the kitchen table and thought about his story and whether or not I should call in and share Lynn’s and my story. As I sat there, I started to tell myself that our story is too long for a radio ‘blurp’, too drawn out to get the details, too offensive – simply too much. I sat there and briefly indulged in past poor behavior. I tried to talk myself out of what might have been a door God was opening. Maybe someone in radioland was hurting and needed to know they’re not alone. Then I did something that in my addiction I was never able to do. I spoke truth to myself that even if it wasn’t an open door, I was reacting to the situation with past behavior founded in fear, not truth, and that was no longer acceptable. Since I am now able to see these things in me when they happen, I decided to take the opportunity to write an “elevator speech;” something I can share quickly, as if in an elevator:
My rock bottom came on August 28, 2015 when my 50 years of sexual addiction came out and the decades of pornography and adultery shattered my wife, my marriage of 32 years and my family. But true to His promise God set me free and He healed me of my addiction. I have never suffered a relapse. In His Love and Grace God healed me.
Then God did His second miracle: my amazing, beautiful wife chose the infinitely more difficult path of restoration over divorce even when she was completely shattered. We are now over 3 years into recovery and restoration.
God continues to work miracles in our lives and our marriage: We are together. We each facilitate Pure Desire recovery groups: 7 Pillars of Freedom and Betrayal & Beyond. We share our story openly whenever God opens a door. We host a blog website to encourage others who are experiencing the same devastation. We are on the Speaking/Presentation team for Tuff Stuff Ministries’ Marriage Redeemed & Betrayal Redeemed Conferences.
Every one of these doors is wholly God’s leading and blessing. Three years ago, we were done. We were divorcing. Never did we think we would be where we are today. God has completely transformed our marriage, our very lives. He is so good!
If you need help or direction you can find us at www.CreatedToBeFree.org.
As it turns out, the radio thing wasn’t an open door; at least not in the way I thought. I wrote the speech on a note card to keep it concise and then tried to call the radio station. The phone rang and rang and rang and then disconnected. Three times. Obviously, the open door was not to share our story on the radio. So, what was the point? Was there a point or was it a random event? I have learned that with God there is always a point; God doesn’t do random. It was Growth. Encouragement. Trust. Truth. Love. Grace. All reinforced in a mere few minutes, in an exercise teaching me to look honestly at what I was letting into my thinking. Showing me that I can now see the lies I couldn’t, for decades, see: fear no longer rules my life.
God is SO good.
Freedom is a gift from God. It is also His Promise; and He ALWAYS keeps His Promises.