Musings

This week there isn’t really a theme for my blog.  As the title states, it’s more like musings.  My last few weeks boiled down into living a life with God, as opposed to all the years I professed it only, but didn’t really live it.

Let’s skip back a few weeks.  Lynn and were invited to speak, tell our story, again this year at Tuff Stuff Ministries’ Marriage Redeemed Conference.  We were warned last year when we were asked and then again this year at the planning dinner that the attacks would now proceed.  And I’ve felt it.  Not constant but short periods where things happen that would have, as few as four years ago, sent me into a tail-spin of believing lies and acting out.  I wrote about that in my blog last week, titled, “Fear.”

Skipping ahead to only a week ago, I attended a trade show in Las Vegas.  I was concerned.  “Sin City” and a chronic adulterer.  The results could be disastrous.  COULD be.  I am well aware, very well aware, of the Proverbs warning me about pride going before a fall.  Even though I know that I have been set free from my sexual addiction I am careful to not flaunt that salvation.  I have a “Traveling Boundaries” document that I wrote when going through the 7-Pillars of Freedom course.  Before I left for Las Vegas Lynn and I sat down together and went through it and discussed any modifications that either of us thought needed to be made.  I told her that I wanted her input because I wanted her to be as secure as possible while I was gone.  That I would remain pure and true to her, and Jesus.  She is an amazingly wise woman.  God has given her a wisdom that often makes me sit back and marvel.  She said, “This document isn’t for me.  It’s for you.  You already know the consequences of falling short in this area.  You need to do what you need to do to come home safely.”  And I did.

Church Sunday was once again MAGNIFICENT.  But I was weary.  I felt again like I was being attacked physically.  I couldn’t manage to stay awake during my class Sunday morning.  And instead of interacting with the people I know I was feeling a pull of isolation.  A cloud seemed to be over me even though the Worship and sermon was, once again, incredible.  I worked through the cloud by talking with God and some physical labor.  It was my week to help take down ‘church’ (we are using a middle school and set up and take down every week).  I felt better the rest of the day but was still physically weary.  Beat down.

And then God began to work.  Again.  If you’re not familiar with Brother Lawrence and his book, “Practicing the Presence of God”, you need to track it down.  I discovered a short devotional series based on the book in YouVersion and I and three of my friends are going through it together.  There is this quote: “This King, full of mercy and goodness, very far from chastening me, embraces me with love, invites me to feast at his table, serves me with his own hands and gives me the key to his treasures.  He converses with me and takes delight in me and treats me as if I were his favorite.”  If that doesn’t make you drop to your knees in grateful praise you may want to check your heart.

But God wasn’t done.  One of the turning points in my journey was the chapter in the 7-Pillars workbook where we looked at the story of Mephibosheth.  Not familiar with Mephibosheth?  You’ll find him in 2 Samuel 9:1-13.  God touched me in 2016 with the Prodigal Son and then Mephibosheth – both in the Pillars.  And guess what pillar we worked through this past Tuesday night in the group I facilitate?  Yes, the Mephibosheth story.  God was reminding me that not only is He present with me every single moment, and wants to be, He has “fetched” me from Lo Debar and brought me to live in His house, be with Him and eat at His table with Him.  IN HIS PRESENCE.

One of Lynn’s favorite verses is Zephaniah 3:17 – God delights in me.  In you.  To the point of singing with Joy over us.

Turn to Him.  You don’t even have to come to Him.  Just turn.  He’s right there.  He’s right here.  Turn and live in His courts.  Why, oh WHY would you ever go back to the pit once you’ve feasted with Him at His table.  That’s the best boundary document of all.  His Love.